I’ve actively rejected him with his bad manners, bad grooming, and bad work ethic. I never wanted to be with one because of how badly he would make me feel about myself.
Which brings me to my shame – for the past year or so, I’ve been in a destructive relationship with one of the baddest boys out there: Twitter.
Think about it. Twitter is the collective soul of the bad boy. You do anything to get Twitter to like you. You act funny. You act smart. You recite poetry. You try to be witty, sexy, even controversial.
If you are able to win Twitter’s affection, in order to keep it you have to not only like everything that is said to you, you also have to repeat words verbatim – a whole lot!
Even after you do all of this, there are no guarantees because sometimes your follower will just up and disappear, leaving you to wonder how you could have done more, been more.
Twitter is bossy, telling you what you should like, even if it goes against everything you believe in. You think you want to follow one thing, just to have Twitter strongly suggest, time and time again, that you should follow something else. So you do what Twitter says, just to wind up feeling confused and dirty afterwards.
Twitter has the worst manners, with its name calling and image shaming. You try real hard not to stoop to Twitter’s level, but then you break, causing your self respect to lower in the process.
Like all bad boys, Twitter has a narcissistic personality disorder with “an excessive need for admiration, a disregard for others' feelings, and an inability to handle any criticism.” Yet you stay.
You stay until it gets to be too much, and then you try quitting Twitter, going as far as deactivating your account. But then you’ll see something interesting or unusual and think forlonly to yourself, “Oh, Twitter would have loved that,” causing you to lose your will and take that bad boy back once again.